Surviving the Commute

I rushed to each light, only to wait in the hot car, listening to the radio chattering on. It was the morning commute and I learned to endure it—even enjoy the liminal time between my worlds. It’s was a time to think ahead to the coming day; a time to prepare. I needed this time. Life at work was so different from life at home. At home it was secure, sure, steady. I knew what to expect, and I knew the rules. Work was full of uncertainty. Different personalities and ways of thinking created conflict, discomfort and frustration. I never quite got used to these feelings.

Why is it that we think so differently? Why when I talk to some people do we just miss each other’s meanings completely? Could it have something to do with our ideas of truth? Maybe the foundations of our thinking are made out of very different materials. Maybe we live on two sides of the same river.

Through the River describes what it’s like living on the rocky shore of the river where people believe in a firm truth and rely on logic to get there. Many people today grew up in a world where this was the primary way of thinking. But then people began to get into the river and swim out to the sandy islands to live. They left the rocky shore because they could no longer believe that logic was the only way to truth. But they began to believe in a totally personal truth and became isolated from each other. Not happy with the sandy islands, some people returned to the rocky shore, but others swam onto the other side of the river. These people began to believe in truth that not only can be found through logic, but can be found in other ways—like personal experience and history.

In our lives, we can all think of people who live in one community along the river or another. Perhaps we live on one side and work on the other—commuting back and forth along the river. When I didn’t understand what the difference was, it was discouraging, disorienting and frustrating. But once I understood what the difference among people was in their view of truth, it became much easier to deal with.

One thing that helped me in relating to people in different parts of the river is realizing that it is not my job to change their perspective—to convince them of another way. Your assumptions about truth are not like your eternal salvation. You can be a Christian and live on either side of the river or on the sandy islands. So it is not imperative that I try to win people over to my way of thinking.

But though I may not need to convince people to think like me, understanding how others think helps my relationships and understanding. For instance, if I live on the rocky shore and work in the river, I know that pragmatism drives the decision-making of the people I am working with. Logic will not reach them, but relationships will. I know then that is important to build good relationships and to hear the stories of people in order to understand where they are coming from.

If I live in the river and go to school on the rocky shore then I know it will be important to have arguments for why I believe certain things. I will understand why truth comes first in all conversations, why the story behind things is secondary and why conversations turn to debate more often than not.

If I live on the far shore and come to visit either the sandy islands or the rocky shore, I may always feel at least a little out of place, but I have an advantage. I both affirm the belief in logic of the rocky shore residents and hold valuable the importance of story and personal experience of the sandy island residents. I can begin to build relationships with either person because we have something in common.

So the commute can be hot, frustrating, and tiring, but it can be done. By understanding how others think about truth I have the ability to work with people who think very differently than I think.

An Intentional Journey: Thoughts after KKMS Interview

So I (Jon) recently did an interview on KKMS in Minneapolis, MN. Great station and wonderful hosts for afternoon drive time. One of the things we talked about was the difference between evangelism from the Rocky Shore where people believe they can know and represent all truth to the Far Shore where people believe there is truth you know and truth you are learning.

As we talked about it a cool thought came out of the discussion. Really the main difference is that on the Rocky Shore you are trying to convince people that you can know all truth and if they accept your ideas you will lead them to a fuller understanding. A Rock Dweller holds out to people the idea that this is a key piece of truth that they must know as they strive to know all things completely.

Many times, those in the river of relativism or the Island Dwellers who represent isolated personal truth, feel that this is very arrogant. They have experienced other ways of knowing truth beyond reason and logic and are convinced that the people on the Rocky Shore are delusional.

Now on the Far Shore the Valley Dwellers do believe there is a foundation of truth. But the basic assumption about truth is different. They believe that a foundation of truth is possible in community and through the study of God's Word, but the rest is a process of learning together and trusting God. So when a Valley Dweller engages with a non-christian about faith, they explain the foundation but readily admit that there is so much to learn and so many things to know. They will even say that many of these things won't be known till we are in Heaven with God and that this is OK.

This approach to truth is seen by those in the river as much more humble and approachable. They still have to come to an understanding that there is a common foundation of truth, but it is easier for them to take a step out of the river towards the Valley Dweller's community rather than the harsher reality on the Rocky Shore.

The Valley Dwellers have a foundation but are very happy to go on a journey with non-believers as they study, think, talk, learn. This doesn't mean that the Valley Dweller's have given up their foundation of truth, but it does mean that it isn't a simple yes/no dialogue.

The greatest challenge with the Valley Dweller approach is that it requires deep relationships with non-believers and an investment that may never pay off in a salvation prayer. It requires a deep love and commitment to the person and an investment in their growth. This is a great sacrifice in our "microwave culture" where we want results quickly. That is the great challenge of life on the Far Shore - nothing is quick.

It is an intentional journey!

Why Foundations Are Important

"We recognize that the taller and more expansive a leader's dream,

the deeper the foundation must be."

- Kouzes and Posner in "Credibility"

In a world that lives from minute to minute on cable news, your appearance and ability to act like you are in control are of huge value. But as Kouze and Posner so powerfully share in their book on credibility, the true measure of your impact and effectiveness does not come from your ability to put on a good performance. It comes from deep within.

The problem with "deep within" is that it is messy, complicated and hard to sell in a 5 minute news segment. But that doesn't really matter does it? In the end the foundational things in your life are much more critical to your faith, relationships and outreach than your ability to put on a good show.

Our book "Through the River" is about some of those deeper things. It is about a part of your worldview that defines how you understand truth. It is not easy to put in a box and you can't explain it in a 50 second elevator speech, but it changes everything about how you view the world. These assumptions about truth are called your epistemology - we use the term "truth lens" to bring it down to earth.

Your truth lens is what you use to define truth in every part of your life. It is foundational. How you view truth will shape your faith, the way you view other people and the way that you act out your faith in evangelism and service.

Now your truth lens isn't the only foundational thing you need to be finding out about . . . but it is a very important one. As you explore your truth lens, you will begin to understand why you struggle to get along with Uncle Joe, why you believe the way you do about a certain social issue and why you approach outreach a certain way.

Our effort in this book is to help you be aware of the truth lenses that are most prevalent in the Western world today and to help you decide which one will help you serve God most effectively.

I know you are too busy to learn about your truth lens . . . that's ok. Take time anyway. You will find that as you invest in the foundations, other things make much more sense. Your life can be lived much more on purpose and your impact is exponentially increased. Lets build some foundations together!

Now What?

So now that you understand the three most prevalent truth lenses being used today (Positivism, Instrumentalism and Critical Realism), what do you do with this information? You suddenly understand why your co-worker in the next cubicle always wants to argue with you about politics; she is using the positivist truth lens and is trying to get you to understand the right way to view things. But how does having this knowledge help you relate to her in a better way?

So let’s say that you are using the critical realist truth lens and your co-worker is using, like we said, the positivist truth lens. The first thing to ask is what you have in common in your view of truth. You can start there.

The critical realist truth lens and the positivist truth lens both value knowable truth. This is the starting point. You and your co-worker both believe that truth can be discovered and there is a right and wrong. You can spend a lot of time talking about the truth that is known and appreciating the world we live in. But what about when you disagree?

It helps to understand where you differ in what you believe. The divergence is in the knowing of truth. You will disagree about the degree to which something can be known. The critical realist will believe that things in our finiteness cannot be known fully on this earth. We are always on a journey of discovery, filling in a montage that gives us more and more information about the world but which is never complete. The positivist will be on a quest to fully know that truth in the here and now, putting together a picture puzzle where one missing piece ruins the whole.

One strength of the critical realist truth lens is the humble position from which it comes at the problem of truth. This humility is hard to argue with, though it may be seen as a weakness to some. It naturally changes a debate into a discussion.

Aside from the humble position, it is also important to come from a loving perspective. Love is a great healer, and can solve many relationship problems. Keeping love at a high level in your interactions with others will help in the development of your relationships.