Leading Through Disagreement

If you are a leader then you have had to negotiate between people on your team who disagree. When there are two people together in a room there will always be moments of disagreement. Very few leaders handle these situations well. In fact, over the years some of the biggest complaints I have heard about leaders is their handling of conflict.

Well, conflict has a lot to do with your Truth Lens (the concept from our book Through the River). The way you understand truth defines how you will negotiate between two people who claim they have the truth on their side. In our book we have three communities along a river. The Rock Dwellers believe that all truth is knowable and that there is one way to view everything. The Island Dwellers believe that truth is personal and they do not try to impose their understanding on people from other islands because their are no bridges. The Valley Dwellers live in community and believe there is truth we can know and truth we are learning. That learning requires humble dialogue.

As you can imagine leaders from these three communities will approach conflict in very different ways:

• Rock Dwellers will assess the two warring factions, weigh the information, side with the one they think is right and negotiate a surrender from the other side. This always leaves the other group defeated and disempowered.
• Island Dwellers will look for a pragmatic solution that gets people working together again without being too concerned about trying to get to the bottom of the situation - since they don't believe that one answer is attainable.
• Valley Dwellers will look for the piece of truth that is known and affirmed in Scripture and then build from there to have those in disagreement process their struggles and learn together. They will sacrificially stand in the middle and create an environment of humble learning because the process is just as important as the resolution.

We believe that Leading from the Valley represents a way forward for leaders who have been beat up and torn down by conflict in their organizations. What do you think of the way your Truth Lens might impact your ability to lead in conflict?

Understanding Leadership in Light of Truth

I had a very interesting lunch with a believer who had read our book and wanted to chat about applying it in their local church. As we talked, I began to frame a new idea that I am very excited about. Our book focuses on helping the broadest group of people understand their truth lens and then figure out how to engage their world with this new-found understanding.

What we didn't spend much time on was "leadership." But as I talked to this reader about the book, I found myself talking about what leadership looks like from the Rocky Shore, the Islands and the Valley. As many of you know these three geographies in the town represent three different truth lenses.

If we have already talked about what it means to live understanding your truth lens, why is it important to think about leadership? Well, the simple answer is that leadership is about guiding people on God's mission (via Blackaby). These people all have a truth lens that defines how they view the world. Our leadership style is impacted greatly by how we view truth.

Over the next few weeks I will be posting some thoughts on what it means to Lead from the Rocky Shore, the Islands and the Valley. I hope you will join me for this discussion.

Looking at the World through a Both/And Lens

As we continue to discuss the concept of a truth lens, it is important to develop simple tools to help us understand them better. I came across one of these recently. I call it the "Both/And Tool". This is a way of thinking that allows us to avoid the over-simplified truths that the rock dwellers (or positivists) rely on and allows us to think more deeply about truth. It allows us to consider both options and see the the truth in each of them.

Now the challenge is that island dwellers (instrumentalists) and valley dwellers (critical realists) both like the "Both/And Tool" for different reasons. The island dwellers who only believe in personal truth, view this tool as a way to coexist with everyone without having to define truth in any particular way. They hack this tool for their own purposes when they do this.

On the other hand valley dwellers (critical realists) use the Both/And Tool in a differnet way. It is not designed to keep people from having a foundation of solid truth, but it is used as a way to engage the community in learning together. That means that critical realists will acknowledge the truth they know and then use the Both/And Tool to interact about the truth they are learning in community.

I recently wrote a blog post about this for Lausanne called "Are you a Both/And Thinker?" Take a minute to read this great example of using the Both/And Tool.

A Special Announcement from Jon and Mindy

As many of you know we have been in a ministry transition over the past few months. Please take a moment to read about our new role and rejoice with us in God's provision. Read our blog announcement here.

Visualizing Truth

Recently we recieved an email from a "Through the River" reader. This is what she had to say:

"I was conversing with our Music Pastor's wife, and 2 other home school moms and we were talking about your visual picture of world view lens and the River Town. They all got out their blackberries and touch screens and wrote down the title of your book so they could go get their own copy. Because of your explanation I understand so much why were are so focused on world view. At our homeschooling convention - the theme of everything was world view.

I am contemplating teaching a class on your book to highschool students. It is so powerful. Thanks so much for writing it.....I am just so amazed at God's timing....right when I needed a book to explain it visually in a vivid way to Jacob. JT just picked it up today and is reading through it."

What a great testimony to the power of a word picture! It is amazing what can happen when truth takes on different forms. We have been so trained to read truth in arguments and propositions that we fail to remember that God is so much bigger than linear logic. God can use images, imagination, history, art, memories, and the list goes on and on.

We would love to hear from others of you who have read the book. How has God used the visual image of River Town to bring this truth into perspecitve for you?

Growing in Humility as we Live in Community

I just wrote a blog post for The Lausanne Movement. As many of you know I am helping coordinate the Lausanne Blogger Network, social media and the Lausanne Blog. This week I wrote about truth and the Lausanne Global Conversation - especially about what happens when believers in community disagree. Take a minute to read the post and get involved in the Global Conversation!

Surviving the Commute

I rushed to each light, only to wait in the hot car, listening to the radio chattering on. It was the morning commute and I learned to endure it—even enjoy the liminal time between my worlds. It’s was a time to think ahead to the coming day; a time to prepare. I needed this time. Life at work was so different from life at home. At home it was secure, sure, steady. I knew what to expect, and I knew the rules. Work was full of uncertainty. Different personalities and ways of thinking created conflict, discomfort and frustration. I never quite got used to these feelings.

Why is it that we think so differently? Why when I talk to some people do we just miss each other’s meanings completely? Could it have something to do with our ideas of truth? Maybe the foundations of our thinking are made out of very different materials. Maybe we live on two sides of the same river.

Through the River describes what it’s like living on the rocky shore of the river where people believe in a firm truth and rely on logic to get there. Many people today grew up in a world where this was the primary way of thinking. But then people began to get into the river and swim out to the sandy islands to live. They left the rocky shore because they could no longer believe that logic was the only way to truth. But they began to believe in a totally personal truth and became isolated from each other. Not happy with the sandy islands, some people returned to the rocky shore, but others swam onto the other side of the river. These people began to believe in truth that not only can be found through logic, but can be found in other ways—like personal experience and history.

In our lives, we can all think of people who live in one community along the river or another. Perhaps we live on one side and work on the other—commuting back and forth along the river. When I didn’t understand what the difference was, it was discouraging, disorienting and frustrating. But once I understood what the difference among people was in their view of truth, it became much easier to deal with.

One thing that helped me in relating to people in different parts of the river is realizing that it is not my job to change their perspective—to convince them of another way. Your assumptions about truth are not like your eternal salvation. You can be a Christian and live on either side of the river or on the sandy islands. So it is not imperative that I try to win people over to my way of thinking.

But though I may not need to convince people to think like me, understanding how others think helps my relationships and understanding. For instance, if I live on the rocky shore and work in the river, I know that pragmatism drives the decision-making of the people I am working with. Logic will not reach them, but relationships will. I know then that is important to build good relationships and to hear the stories of people in order to understand where they are coming from.

If I live in the river and go to school on the rocky shore then I know it will be important to have arguments for why I believe certain things. I will understand why truth comes first in all conversations, why the story behind things is secondary and why conversations turn to debate more often than not.

If I live on the far shore and come to visit either the sandy islands or the rocky shore, I may always feel at least a little out of place, but I have an advantage. I both affirm the belief in logic of the rocky shore residents and hold valuable the importance of story and personal experience of the sandy island residents. I can begin to build relationships with either person because we have something in common.

So the commute can be hot, frustrating, and tiring, but it can be done. By understanding how others think about truth I have the ability to work with people who think very differently than I think.